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Here's 16 way's that THIS man got banned from target (trust me, they work!)
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. Harris ,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris , are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION – WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. Harris ,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris , are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION – WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9.. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'
IDEK XD
Dudes i went the shop today and the guy there asked me how i was, which is usual. Then he gave me a free nappy sample and was like "just for you, only for you" (they dont speak very good english) so i thanked him for the random nappy XD then they asked me how old i was and when i said im 15 they were like "you so long, too long, at least 19" and they just repeated "at least 19" over and over with some real excessive hand movements as if me being 15 was the most stupidest idea on the planet. seriously i dont look 19 so can someone tell me why everyone thinks i am XD
little help pwease
right well, guys, im drawing a picture on split personality. As in, im drawing a single face and 1 side is happy and quite pleased and the other side is full of anger and hate.
im drawing the shoulders and chest area too though and i have no idea as to what i could draw on her top for both sides to be honest,
so could you guys please be kind enough to give me ideas, it would be very helpful of you ^^'
yeah any help is greatly appreciated as i cant just leave it blank XD
thanks XD
i was bored XD
well i was bored so i did this XD
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. With the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.
HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?
Welcome to the Black Parade – My Chemical Romance
Okay… unsure as to how that fits XD
WILL YOU GET FAR IN LIFE?
Rockstar – Nickelback
So I'll become an anorexic junkie XD sounds fun XD
HOW DO YOUR FRIENDS SEE YOU?
Everything I wanna do – Nickelback
IDK
WHAT IS YOUR BEST FRIEND'S THEME SONG?
Time of your life – Green Day
tagged XD
told you id do this !nightembersglowing (https://www.deviantart.com/nightembersglowing)
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Keri
2. Kerianne
3. Kaz
THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU'VE HAD:
1. shadow0071
2. shadowuk007
3. shadow 007
THREE THINGS YOU'VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:
1. accidentally deleted this just i finished *total facepalm moment*
2. made the brave decision to restart this
3. listened to music
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I don't care what others think about me *except friends*
2. i don't lie
3. I can eat as much as I like without putting weight on XD *utterly amazing trait*
THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. i can't say no to people
2. I find i
© 2012 - 2024 shadow0071
Comments10
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Pff, is this real? XD